“From tiny experiences we build cathedrals.” -Orhan Pamuk
I apologize for how long it’s been since I’ve updated this blog, however a lot of “tiny” and pretty BIG experiences have happened to me in the last few months–especially since the beginning of the new year. A last-minute trip to celebrate New Year’s Eve with old friends in Cologne, Germany kicked off almost two months of a rollercoaster ride of truly wild and unexpected events.
Where to start? Well, firstly, I really love this quote from Turkish novelist Orhan Pamuk. It’s from an interview he did for The Paris Review: “Orhan Pamuk, The Art of Fiction No. 187.” My main interpretation of the quote is that it’s important to recognize and honor that all experiences in life – even tiny and seemingly insignificant ones – do have meaning and matter. I also feel it’s a message of encouragement and perseverance: keep getting up in the morning, keep moving forward, keep moving, keep trying, keep building. Great, beautiful things can be created and accomplished from tiny actions and moments.
This really speaks to me, especially right now, because I feel like I’m stuck in rut, desperately trying to claw my way out of a deep trench of frustration, anxiety, hopelessness, and confusion. And lately, these frustrations seem much worse than usual. I feel very overwhelmed.
But, there are so many “cathedrals” I want to build during the remainder of my life.
My trip to Germany was supposed to be an exciting, adventurous, and joyous return to Europe after a 10-year absence (many years ago I lived in Ireland, France, and spent a lot of time in Berlin, Germany). I couldn’t wait to reunite with old friends and to have my feet back on European soil–two things which always brought me much happiness.
The New Year’s Eve party we had in Köln (Cologne) was FUN! I reconnected with cool people from the Netherlands who made the trip for the party, met new Dutch and German friends, and had a blast hanging out with my friends whom I hadn’t seen since New York City in 2015. A few minutes before the clock struck midnight, we all ran outside to the front of the house, grabbing glasses and bottles of champagne, party hats and fireworks. Even several of the little children who managed to stay awake were outside with us, excitedly waving sparklers in their small hands.
Suddenly, someone began shouting a countdown to midnight: 5-4-3-2-1….FROHES NEUES JAHR! HAPPY NEW YEAR! Hugs and kisses ensued while fireworks exploded all around us (neighbors were also outside doing the same thing). What a lovely, magical way to ring in 2023. I thought, Wow, this is going to be a great year! But little did I know that my trip was going to take some erratic turns and that I would experience way more than I ever wanted to of the German healthcare system.
Hint: I wound up in a hospital in Berlin for weeks.
There’s too much to write in this blog post about one of the most terrifying and painful health experiences I’ve ever had. I will post more about it, soon, and some other health “adventures” I had while in Germany. Until then, please enjoy a couple more photos of Aachen Cathedral (Aachener Dom) and Cologne Cathedral (Kölner Dom). Kölner Dom is one of the loveliest cathedrals I’ve seen and it has a fascinating history, especially during WWII. Aachen Cathedral is also stunningly beautiful and is full of its own captivating history–notably being one of the oldest cathedrals in Europe and built for the Emperor Charlemagne (Charles the Great).
I lit a candle and said a prayer for my Auntie Jean in Aachen Cathedral on the evening I visited the beautiful medieval city. Auntie Jean, my dear aunt and a second mother to me, passed away from ovarian cancer October 10, 2022. I missed her and thought of her often during my time in Germany. I especially missed hearing from her while I was there. I know she would have been sending me texts and emails asking how I was and how my trip was going, like she always did when I traveled anywhere. We texted daily just in general. Being so far from home and not able to talk to her was incredibly sad and difficult. I hope she heard my prayers.
Inflamed: Living with Rheumatoid Arthritis 
I visited Köln in 1988 while my parents were in Germany visiting us on vacation (I lived and worked in that country with my husband and daughter at the time), Unfortunately, the Dom was closed to the public the day we were there, but two momentous things (for me, at least) happened while we had coffee in the square at a sunny open-air cafe. First, I watched as the great actor Peter Ustinov ordered his breakfast and read the newspaper a few tables away. A few minutes later, when I took out my wallet to pay for our coffees, I discovered it was missing. I’d been pickpocketed! I lost 200 Deutschmarks that day, but there was a silver lining: a couple of months later, a package arrived at my office for me from the US Embassy in Köln. (Köln was Germany’s capital city prior to reunification). In the package? My wallet. Everything but the money was still in it–my beloved photos, my drivers’ license, etc. A kind person had noticed my wallet in a trash can not far from the cathedral and gave it to the police. They saw my American ID and passed the wallet to the Embassy. Those nice folks figured out where I worked and sent my wallet home to me.
Anyway, your story brought back the memory of that magical (if slightly flawed!) morning from a time that I hold dear. I’m so glad you got to visit Germany again, and of course, sorry that you ended up in the hospital! Looking forward to hearing the rest of the story, Angela. Sending a warm hug your way.
Wren! Let’s talk soon, please? We can swap Germany stories and catch up. Miss you!
I have always wanted to travel to Germany, mostly to visit WWII sites. The pictures make me want to go even more. Do they offer 10 week vacations without a mandatory hospital stay?
Thank you for sharing your experiences, both the joyous and the difficult, and for reminding us of the beauty and significance of even the smallest moments in life. Your vivid descriptions of the cathedrals and New Year’s Eve celebration transported me to Germany and reminded me of the magic of travel and the resilience of the human spirit.
Hi! I’m just seeing your comment now. I’m sorry for the delayed response. Thank you so much for your lovely comment! I appreciate it a lot. Thank you!