My massage therapist stresses me out

So I went to one of the Massage Envy spas last night for their Arthritis Foundation deal. It was an…uh…interesting experience. Basically, my massage therapist was a weirdo girl who tried to chat me up during the massage while I was lying face down shirtless and already feeling a bit uncomfortable. Practically straight away she asked me in a creepy voice, “So what do you like to do for fun?” Huh? NOTHING. DO NOT TALK TO ME DURING MASSAGE, PLEASE. Throughout the rest of the hour she proceeded to tell me about how she thinks about what it would be like if her dad was a cat and that she has psychic abilities. Regarding the latter, of course I couldn’t resist asking (still lying face down while she pummeled my back and called me “Dear”) – Ok, so what do you sense about me and my “energy?” She replied, “Your right side is full of work stress and…FEAR.” Uh ok. She went on, “Your left side has some…anger. Is there trouble with your mom?” What? No. She said, “I sense an older, female energy in there.” Well I’m certainly mad at plenty of people these days but my mother is not one of them. And I’m pretty sure she’s not in my left shoulder. Maybe it’s Grandma? Er, okay, thank you, Creepy Girl, glad I asked.

I think I walked out of there more tense than when I walked in.