July 10, 2013
Well. The good news is I didn’t gain any weight. The bad news is that I didn’t really lose anything either. Ok, I lost 15 oz. Big whoop. I was really disappointed after my appointment Wednesday; I thought for sure the work I’ve been putting into losing weight was going to show some results. A pound at least. Nope. I want to give up and just stuff my face with a million pasta/cheese/bread/chocolate calories. But I’m not going to give up. Part of this makes me so pissed off to try even harder. But I don’t know — it’s not easy. I’m also very disappointed and angry that I can’t ride my bike right now because both knees are flaring up. This happened two years ago when I was biking a lot and it turned out to be a biking “injury” and not from my RA. I think I was pushing myself too hard this time and overdid it. But for now I need to rest my knees and hope they return to their normal, pain-free state soon. Even if RA didn’t cause this particular pain/flare-up, it’s not helping my knees to heal. So yeah, I’m upset. This really makes me want to scream and punch stuff. Ah, that probably won’t help though. I’m going up north tomorrow morning for the weekend for an annual family event, which I’m looking forward to a lot. Hopefully it will be a nice little getaway and will make me feel better.
I have my Remicade infusion tomorrow (well technically today, since it’s 12:43 AM), and in addition to the much-needed medication, I’ll find out if I’ve lost any weight. The last time I got weighed was almost a month ago, I think. I’ve been trying very hard to exercise and eat less. However, I’m afraid that once I step on the scale tomorrow afternoon it will show that I haven’t lost a thing. I swear my metabolism is broken/comatose. I’ve also recently lowered my Celexa dose and I’ve been getting acupuncture treatments for weight loss along with all of my other health problems. Hopefully something will start to work. I would be ecstatic if I could lose even just five more pounds. I’ve managed to keep the 10 lbs off that I lost last spring/summer, which is great. But, I haven’t been able to lose any more weight since then, which is really frustrating. What do I have to do, starve myself? I don’t think that’s a smart or realistic option. Please cross your fingers that tomorrow’s appointment brings some good news!