Hallo aus Berlin!
July 31, 2012
Guten Tag! Hello from Berlin, Germany. I arrived late Saturday night from Dubrovnik, Croatia. Sorry I haven‘t posted until now but I‘ve been running around with friends in Croatia and Bosnia for the last week and finding fast, convenient Internet access challenging. There have been many challenges on this trip, not surprisingly, but I‘m glad that I decided to do the trip and meet up with friends over here. Croatia and Bosnia were beautiful and incredibly interesting places despite the oppressive heat of Croatia. Swimming in the Adriatic Sea felt surreal, surrounded by gorgeous, towering mountains. We tried to hit the beach quite a bit which was cool and swimming in the sea helped ease the pain and throbbing of my continually swollen right foot and ankle. The intense heat and humidity of Croatia (Bosnia was better, thankfully) definitely was not good for my RA – my foot and ankle ballooned to a disturbingly large size by the end of each day. But I just tried to deal with it the best I could, like I am doing right now in Berlin. Luckily the weather is much cooler here so I feel better overall physically. Traveling is exhausting though – I always forget that until I‘m back doing it again, dragging heavy luggage and bags, walking miles, rushing through airports. Then I think, Why am I doing this to myself? Because I love to travel. I think? No, seriously, I do love traveling to new places, and especially to different countries. But traveling while living with a painful chronic illness is very difficult. And it takes patience and empathy and understanding from those around you, your traveling buddies and friends, and from yourself. I have to keep reminding myself that it‘s okay to go slow and to take my time and to listen to how my body feels. Getting upset because you can‘t make it to all of the sights isn’t worth it. It also isn‘t worth it to feel guilty or anxious that you might be holding others back or slowing them down because of your own physical limitations. However, that is easier said than done. I admit I‘ve been struggling with that since the start of the trip. I hate feeling like a burden or that my RA is annoying other people. They are friends, so they should be understanding of course. But even friends can‘t really understand what it‘s like to just get through a normal day while being in considerable pain, never mind running around to different countries and cities.
Anyway! I am having a great time and it‘s been fun seeing old friends again, whom I haven‘t seen since 2007 (wow -it’s also kind of freaking me out thinking about how much time has passed). Visiting Croatia and Bosnia (Mostar, Sarajevo) are my favorite parts of the trip so far and I definitely want to go back there. It‘s been cool seeing old ‘haunts‘ in Dublin and Berlin too, despite feelings of disorientation and bittersweet nostalgia I‘ve been experiencing. I‘m mostly just trying to have fun with friends and to do my own thing a bit (taking photos) which will hopefully give me some much-needed motivation to get my own life in order when I get back home.
Well, I think it‘s time to end the rambling here. The sun is shining in Kreuzberg now (the area in Berlin where I‘m staying) and I should get out of the house and go for a bike ride or hit some museums. Time flies when you‘re drinking giant mugs of beer and embarrassing yourself speaking broken German.
P.S. Good news – I am still losing weight, despite basically having to throw my pre-trip “diet” out the window. I‘m guessing I‘ve lost at least a total of 10 lbs by now. I‘m excited to weigh-in once I get back home!