My massage therapist stresses me out

So I went to one of the Massage Envy spas last night for their Arthritis Foundation deal. It was an…uh…interesting experience. Basically, my massage therapist was a weirdo girl who tried to chat me up during the massage while I was lying face down shirtless and already feeling a bit uncomfortable. Practically straight away she asked me in a creepy voice, “So what do you like to do for fun?” Huh? NOTHING. DO NOT TALK TO ME DURING MASSAGE, PLEASE. Throughout the rest of the hour she proceeded to tell me about how she thinks about what it would be like if her dad was a cat and that she has psychic abilities. Regarding the latter, of course I couldn’t resist asking (still lying face down while she pummeled my back and called me “Dear”) – Ok, so what do you sense about me and my “energy?” She replied, “Your right side is full of work stress and…FEAR.” Uh ok. She went on, “Your left side has some…anger. Is there trouble with your mom?” What? No. She said, “I sense an older, female energy in there.” Well I’m certainly mad at plenty of people these days but my mother is not one of them. And I’m pretty sure she’s not in my left shoulder. Maybe it’s Grandma? Er, okay, thank you, Creepy Girl, glad I asked.

I think I walked out of there more tense than when I walked in.

8 thoughts on “My massage therapist stresses me out

  1. Next time I might suggest a polite: “I really like to relax and clear my mind during my massage.” That might keep her creepy stories to herself.

    But then you would not have this great story to post to keep us entertained…

  2. “…what it would be like if her dad was a cat…”?! I think I would have gotten off the table at that point. The things we do for massages!

    Anyway… hi! I found your blog through an article on Rheumatoid Arthritis on Good Morning America’s website. My name is Liz and I’ve had moderate to severe joint pain for four years now (among a few other symptoms). So far, my doctors — I’ve seen about a dozen or more at this point — have been able to determine that it’s “some sort of autoimmune disease” and “could be Rheumatoid Arthritis,” but my blood work never shows anything tangible. I’ve tried dozens of medications, and the only thing that came out of most of them was that I learned I react very strongly to medication. Heh. I know it could take years to be diagnosed, so I figure I’m about due at this point.

    I just wanted to say hello and that it’s nice to “meet” you. It’s always nice to find other people with chronic pain (even though it’s not nice that we’re in pain to begin with). I hope you’re having a good day!

    1. Hi Liz!
      Thanks for your comment and for reading my blog! Haha yeah…I really needed a massage. ha. So do any of the medications you’ve tried help your joint pain? I’ve heard about other people having RA symptoms but their blood tests coming back negative. I THINK a rheumatologist is supposed to diagnose a patient based on blood work AND symptoms, not just blood work alone. RA (as well as a lot of other auto immune diseases) can behave so strangely. I’m sorry to hear that you’re having such pain and can’t get a clear diagnosis. I know how frustrating and stressful that can be. Hang in there! And don’t give up being an advocate for your own health. After having RA for 14 years I’ve also found out that some doctors don’t know what they’re talking about, sadly.

      Nice to “meet” you too! It is great to meet others who can relate to what you’re going through, definitely. Thanks again for reading and for your comment. Have a wonderful day yourself!


      1. Heh. I hope your next massage is a lot more relaxing!

        The only medications that help — and mind you, they don’t always help — are Extra Strength Tylenol, and Tramadol. Tramadol, however, makes me pretty, um, loopy. I tend to react very strongly to most medications. There was a period of time when every doctor I saw wrote me a new prescription without really knowing what was wrong. Most of the doctors I’ve seen either didn’t know what they were doing or didn’t care to try harder to figure out what was wrong. My first rheumatologist suggested I see a psychiatrist. I’ve learned pretty quickly, unfortunately, to advocate for myself.

        I agree that a rheumatologist — or hell, doctor in general — should diagnose based on blood work and symptoms. I like the one I’ve been seeing now, but there are only so many times I can see him, tell him about my pain, have him send me for blood work, and come back to be told everything came back fine. I think I got attached to him because he was the first specialist to not give up after five minutes, but it’s definitely time for a “second” — and I say that with quotes because I’ve seen way too many doctors — opinion.

        It’s definitely nice to connect with anyone who can relate. It’s been a lonely four years sometimes, except for the internet. I haven’t met anyone else who’s undiagnosed, but that’s why I blog. The internet is an amazing place!

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