I’d rather have hope than sadness
April 14, 2010
MRI update: I went back to my orthopedic doctor last week to find out the results of the MRI on my right ankle. Once again I was presented with good and bad news. The good (great) news is that my ankle LOOKS fine and there is no damage to the joint or cartilage. This is a huge relief, of course. But then he told me that there is nothing he can do for me based on the results of the MRI. Tears sprang up in my eyes and began to roll down my face despite trying to control myself. How can there be nothing “wrong” when I’m in so much pain? I appreciate that he doesn’t want to do unnecessary surgery, yet I can’t understand how nobody can figure out how to fix my ankle after all of these years (the ankle problems started five years ago). So basically I left the office a crying mess wondering what to do next. Second, third, fourth opinions? Mayo Clinic again? It’s almost too exhausting to even think about much less go through. Back to the beginning, back to “square one.” All I want is to be able to walk normal again, or as normal as possible, with less pain.
In better news, I have rediscovered the joys of riding a bike and have established a goal of biking 3-4 miles a day around a small lake near my house. I went yesterday and Monday and it felt great, despite being a sweaty huffing-puffing wimp by the end of the ride both days. It’s raining right now but I still want to try to go before I work tonight. RAIN WILL NOT STOP ME! Nor will this disease, dammit.
I don’t know what I’m going to do about this ankle, but I’ll have to figure out something. I just can’t believe that there’s nothing that can be done.