December 15, 2012
I went down to Rochester very early Thursday morning for an appointment with an ankle surgeon at the Mayo Clinic. My ankle surgeon recommended I see this guy and I had been waiting many months just to get an appointment. Well, I have the sinking feeling that all of this is just going to be a huge waste. The doctor didn’t seem very positive that there’s anything he can do to help me. He (like so many other doctors I’ve seen) said that since my X-rays and MRI scans don’t show anything, he doesn’t think surgery would help. Or it could make my ankle worse. He does not want to fuse it (I don’t really want that either, but…). He doesn’t think scoping it again will help either. The only idea he had was to refer me back to my rheumatologist to manage my RA. Okay, great. But my rheumatologist doesn’t know what to do either. Since the rest of my joints have been pretty good and stable, my rheumatologist doesn’t really want to switch my medications. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? My ankle is constantly noticeably swollen. It’s painful every day. I can’t walk or stand on it for very long before the pain becomes close to unbearable. I’ve been dealing with these stubborn ankles since 2005 when they both flared up out of the blue. The left one got a lot better (it’s still not normal) but the right one has remained in pretty bad shape. I’m at the end of my rope. Do I just have to live with this? I can’t believe that nobody can figure out exactly what’s going on or how to fix it. But anyway, I need to go back to the Mayo next Friday to have new MRI scans for each ankle. And then a follow-up appointment with the doctor after he reads the scans. The only appointment I could get for the MRIs is at 7 AM, which is really annoying. So either I’ll have to drive the almost two hours down to Rochester, leaving my house at 5 AM. Or I’ll have to go down there the night before and spend the night. None of this is very cost-effective, of course. But, I will go back and have the MRIs. I’m not feeling very optimistic right now, but I hope something good will come of this after I have the new MRI scans. If anybody has any advice or insights, please let me know.
December 2, 2012
First off, many apologies for my absence. I’m embarrassed at how long it’s been since I’ve posted on here. I’ll write a proper update post after this one, I promise!
Anyway, I have some exciting arthritis news! I’ve been given the opportunity to write two articles for Arthritis Self-Management magazine, which is based out of New York City. And, I’ll even be getting PAID to do it. Amazing! The first article will focus on young people who have RA and how they deal with challenges related to school and work. The second article will also be about young people with RA and how they deal with issues of relationships, dating, social interaction.
My question for YOU – are there any of you young adults with RA who would be interested in getting interviewed for either of these articles? I have a couple of people already, but I need some more help. Please let me know ASAP. I’d really appreciate it! The first article is due mid-January. Email me at email@example.com.
October 14, 2012
Fall is here! It’s my favorite time of year yet I feel like I haven’t really been enjoying it that much. Why not? A sudden “episode” of anxiety has seemingly come out of nowhere and hit me like a truck running over my head at 80 mph. Well, okay I guess that analogy isn’t that great because if a truck really ran over my head I would be dead right now and I’m obviously alive. But this anxiety has been really debilitating and I haven’t been living life as I should because of it. I suppose realizing that my dreaded birthday is coming up is what triggered the anxiety attack. I started thinking about my age and where I am in life and what I’ve done and more about what I haven’t done (marriage, kids, grad school, career, my art, moving abroad again, etc). And that’s been really worrying and upsetting me. I know I’ve been beating myself up, unfairly, and way too harshly. But despite my efforts to be rational and chilled-out about things, the same obsessive worries and fears and regrets keep going round in circles in my head. But I think that once I start to really make progress and improvements in at least one area of my life, these feelings will get better and go away. God, I hope so. Regret is such a miserable, self-loathsome, sickening feeling. I’ve struggled enough with it already over the years and I thought I had finally let go of some things until this latest crippling bout of it. I know regret is extremely counter-productive because you can’t go back and change things. Looking back, dwelling, getting sentimental and nostalgic to the point of extreme sadness – this has always been a problem of mine since I was a kid, really. How do you stop thinking this way? If anybody has any good tips, please feel free to share them. I’m so tired of it.
Anyway, in other good news, I just started a new photography blog – http://aclundberg.blogspot.com. I’m really happy with how it’s looking so far. Hopefully as I add more posts it will start to look more professional and will help me land some jobs or something. But despite using it as a job tool, I’ve just been having a lot of fun working on it.
September 11, 2012
Okay, so I finally called and spoke with someone at the Mayo earlier this week and was told that I wasn’t rejected, but I’m on a waiting list for the physician I want to see. So I will see the doctor, but who knows when. I emphasized my desire to be seen ASAP if possible because my health insurance goes back to crap January 1st. The nurse made a special note of that, apparently. Mm-hmm, sure. Waiting, waiting…always waiting.
Another health update: I was recently rejected by the Mayo Clinic to see a doctor in their Orthopedic Surgery clinic for my right ankle. I had surgery for the second time on that ankle last October and the surgery hasn’t helped and possibly made it worse. I’m beyond frustrated. When I got home from my trip last month, I got a referral from my surgeon to see a foot and ankle specialist at the Mayo Clinic. I guess I’m not totally surprised at this rejection, since it’s difficult to get in at the Mayo. But I’m still pretty upset. I’ll have to get on the phone tomorrow and try to talk to someone about it and see if there’s anything that can be done. They just sent me a lame, generic letter in the mail so I didn’t even get to talk to anybody about it. Wish me luck, please! This ankle must be fixed.
September 11, 2012
It’s getting to be mid-September already and the weather has been cooler and less humid. However today it was a bizarrely balmy 95 degrees. What? Crazy Minnesota weather, I guess. Fall is my favorite time of year anyway, but I love it even more because the drop in temperature and humidity makes my body and aching joints feel so much better – especially my stubborn right ankle. Since returning from my trip to Europe a month ago, I admit I’ve been having trouble staying energized and motivated to get my life together and to get back on track with health stuff (diet, exercise, weight loss, doctor appointments, ankle). However, I did go on a long bike ride around Palmer Lake a couple days ago – twice around the trail! So that’s about eight miles total. My hardcore bicycling friends would probably find that distance rather wimpy, but it was the first time I ever did that, so I was pretty happy and proud. But, um, I haven’t been on my bike since then. Er. TOMORROW! I just can’t ride my bike or do any kind of exercise in 90 degree heat, and I think that’s understandable.
August 14, 2012
August 13, 2012
Hello from Minneapolis! I am actually somewhat glad to be back, surprisingly. Usually when I come back from trips abroad I’m depressed for quite a while afterwards. Since arriving back home from Dublin late Friday night, I’ve felt pretty energized and motivated and in a decent mood. I miss my friends a lot, of course, but I’m feeling positive about finally making some important decisions about my future, regarding my career, moving, creative projects, etc. While the trip was really fun, it was also physically demanding and exhausting, so I’m glad to be home to finally get some rest and to attend to my joints which seem to be exploding with inflammation. This afternoon I left a message for my rheumatologist’s nurse about wanting to discuss with my doctor other treatment options and needing help with what to do next about this stubborn right foot and ankle. Hopefully she will return my call tomorrow and we can get the ball rolling. Strangely, the weather here right now is cooler and less humid than in Dublin and Berlin, so that’s making me feel better.
Also in health news – sadly, I think I have gained back some of the weight I lost just before I left on my trip. Even though I was walking a lot, my careless mass consumption of Croatian/Bosnian/German/Irish beer and delicious bread and pastries probably didn’t help the situation. So now it’s back to tracking calories, self-sacrifice, and near-starvation. I’ll find out what the damage is when I weigh-in Friday. Can’t wait. I did go on a little bike ride today though and that felt good. I’ll have to work my way up to two rides a day again and I’d also like to start swimming on a regular basis, if I can muster the energy to drag myself to the pool (I blame laziness and inconvenience for current procrastination). But seriously, during the entire trip I kept thinking about how much I really do want to be healthier physically and to continue losing weight. It will be a challenge to get back on track after nearly a month, but I think I can do it.
So, that’s the update for now. I took a million photos and I’ll post a link once I get them uploaded if anybody wants to see them.
As always, thanks for reading!