August 10, 2011
I just got back from taking a short bike ride, about 2 miles, which felt really great. Because the weather here has been so disgustingly hot and humid for the past month or so, I’ve been neglecting riding my bike (among other things). Maybe that’s a bit lazy of me, but if you ask anybody who lives in the Twin Cities area they’ll agree that lately it’s just been too damn hot to do anything. This evening I photographed the last Bike Library orientation of the season too, which maybe helped put me in the mood to bust out my own bike again. Sibley Depot’s Bike Library Program has been a lot of fun to be involved with and I’m very impressed with the work they’ve been doing in the St. Paul and Minneapolis communities.
In other news, while I’m still unemployed, I have been trying to keep busy working on my own stuff. I finally bought an Internet domain and web host and started building my own photography website/online portfolio. It’s pretty basic and minimalist, but that’s the look I’m going for, I think. Maybe someday in the future I’ll be able to make it fancier but for now I think it will work out fine. I hope to use it as a reference for potential employers and job opportunities.
Here’s the link: www.aclundberg.com.
Feel free to let me know what you think and if you have any web design tips or advice!
Okay, I’m really tired yet hyper-wired on caffeine. I will give up coffee again tomorrow, I promise. Or the day after tomorrow.
Bikes are awesome. ♥
Sibley Bike Depot: www.sibleybikedepot.org
March 9, 2011
I’m having a flare-up now for seemingly “no reason.” Both ankles, knees, hands and feet are really hurting. I DO NOT WANT TO GO BACK ON PREDNISONE! Hopefully if I drink more water, lay off the caffeine again, and get more sleep ASAP this will get better. Otherwise I really have no clue why this is happening now other than my body wanting to be a huge jerk. Do you ever find yourself silently urging RA to just leave you alone? I’d love it if it would take a damn break once in a while. I’m so crabby. Go away, pain. Go away.
February 1, 2011
Sorry for not updating yesterday but I stayed home from work sick and basically spent all day lying on the couch watching TV in my pajamas. I don’t have that much to report right now anyway. I seem to be having a small flare-up in my right shoulder at the moment which started sometime last week. The pain isn’t that bad, it’s just more of an annoyance. I think I should be able to get rid of it without having to resort to going back on prednisone. I hope.
Regarding other exciting RA info – I keep meaning to call PANF (Patient Access Network Foundation) to see if I still have available funds from them to use toward my next few Remicade infusions. I’m due soon for my next infusion and I don’t want to have to put it off, of course. This shoulder flare-up is making me suspicious of needing the Remicade soon. PANF helping me out with my deductible/out-of-pocket for the insanely expensive Remicade infusion is wonderful and I appreciate it so much. However I’m also not looking forward to having to deal with all of the paperwork crap and waiting two months for everything to go through from Fairview billing/health insurance/PANF. Dealing with all of that is such a huge pain, but I know I shouldn’t complain. Without the help from PANF and/or the HealthWell Foundation, I would not be able to get the medication I so desperately need.
January 10, 2011
News! I decided to throw caution to the wind (and the remaining few dollars I have) and register for the 2011 Arthritis Advocacy Summit in Washington, D.C. The summit is February 28 – March 2nd. I’m really excited but also a bit nervous. I’ve never been to DC before. Despite going all alone and not knowing anybody, I’m sure it will be an incredible experience. I hope. Now I just have to figure out how to pay for it. Actually, I don’t want to jinx myself but I applied for a travel stipend which, if I “win” it, I’ll get $1,500 to go toward travel expenses. I find out tomorrow if I get it. I really hope I do because money is tight and it would help out so much. I was on the fence about going this year due to the large pile of debt I’m working hard to pay off, but I really don’t want to wait another year. Cross your fingers I get the stipend!
In other arthritis news, there isn’t much news. I’m still off prednisone (I think it’s been at least a month), so that’s great. I’m still staying off caffeine and I think that’s helping to keep the inflammation at bay. I’ve been trying to take fish oil capsules at least once a day to also help battle inflammation.
December 9, 2010
In addition to Dr. Louie’s presentation, and a nice dinner, there was also an exhibition of artwork made by children and young adults who have arthritis. The artwork was bid on and auctioned off with the proceeds going to the Arthritis Foundation. I had two of my own photographs in the exhibition/auction which are included in this post (black & white smoke stack photo and a photo of the construction of the new Lowry Bridge in NE Minneapolis). I was happily surprised to see that both of my photos were bid on and sold!
It was a great night and I’m really glad I went to and participated in the event. Seeing the creativity and care put into the artwork made by the kids and young adults as well as learning more about other great artists who suffered immensely due to arthritis was quite an inspiration. It’s wonderful to see people fighting for their passions in life and not letting arthritis or other diseases stop them from doing what they love. I need to remind myself of the importance of this more often.
August 15, 2010
I just started a new FT job last week working in the billing department for a non-profit. It’s a huge relief to be able to quit my previous job of over a year (call center/debt collections), however I have to say I’m having some trouble adjusting to this 40 hour week schedule. I’ve been incredibly exhausted all week – moreso than usual. I’m a little worried about it, because my fatigue seems so extreme and maybe not normal? I don’t know what’s going on. I’m hoping I’m just being my usual hypochondriac-self and worrying for nothing. The new job has also been stressful due to the fact that I have no medical billing experience, so there is a lot to learn. I really hope that this wave of fatigue gets better as I get more used to working FT again and feel more comfortable with the work I’m doing. This weekend I basically did nothing, except sleep and take care of a few small errands. I was pretty disappointed that I wound up staying in last night instead of going to a friend’s birthday get-together. I’ve been dying for some social interaction lately, but last night I wound up feeling so wrecked and tired I couldn’t make myself get ready to go out. So yeah…I really hope my energy level picks up here soon. I just got my labs done and I’m not anemic (although my iron isn’t super high either – it’s at a 12). I could lie down right now and take another nap but I’m trying to make myself actually get something done this weekend.
In arthritis news – both of my knees are still bothering me and I’m back on prednisone for the last two weeks. This is very weird and I’ve never dealt with BOTH of my knees feeling like this before. Once again, I have no idea what’s going on, but I hope the pain goes away soon.
Today the weather is beautiful. I should go sit outside and read (but I’ll probably fall asleep!).
July 21, 2010
Rheumatoid arthritis is such an obnoxious, sneaky disease. Example: I went to bed perfectly fine last night (well, my normal “fine” that is). This morning I was cruelly awakened by a sharp stabbing pain shooting through my left knee whenever I moved it. My initial thought was, oh no…not this again. I had had this happen once before when I had to go to the E.R. because the pain was so intense. Luckily this morning I was able to carefully roll out of bed without passing out from pain. I hobbled into the living room and noticed that my left knee was swollen compared to my right one. So now, here I sit writing this blog with a bag of frozen peas icing my knee while I wait for my rheumatologist’s assistant to call me back about a plan of action. I’m pretty certain that the doctor will order me to go back on prednisone. Hopefully I won’t have to go into the clinic today. This flare-up is especially frustrating because today would be Day 3 of me being prednisone-FREE again. I so badly want to get off of that medication and STAY off of it. I’ve been tapering down/off for the last three weeks. If Dr. B puts me back on it, we’ll have to start the entire process over again. However, I’d rather take prednisone right away if it will knock out this flare-up. Anytime something like this happens, I get extremely nervous, of course, that damage is being done to my joint and that it will never return to normal.
Another depressing thing about this flare is that I’ve recently been enjoying riding my bike a lot. I’ve been trying desperately to lose weight by biking but have also come to really love it and look forward to my daily rides. I’m assuming that there will be no bike rides for a while thanks to this knee.
RA is really a jerk sometimes. It obviously doesn’t care that I have two medical appointments I need to go to today. Nor does it care that I also had to call in sick to work for tonight. I know life is full of surprises and interruptions for everyone, chronic disease or not. However I’ve noticed that my R.A. seems to get a kick out of rearing its ugly painful self in my life when it’s most inconvenient. It’s a very helpless feeling when a disease controls you, forces you to lie around with a bag of peas on your leg when you feel perfectly fine otherwise, and stops you from doing the things you love – like those wonderful summer bike rides.
April 28, 2010
Spring is finally here, it seems, and I should be joyous and giddy and rolling around in the grass with happiness. Right. I would be skipping through the dandelions right now if I weren’t so exhausted from working two jobs and trying (unsuccessfully so far) to get ready for a fast-approaching art show/event. Dealing with large medical bills that keep pouring in and problems getting medical assistance for the Remicade infusions I desperately need are also huge weights upon my mind and body. (Sorry if this isn’t a very cohesive post, by the way, but I’m just trying to type out the mess that’s jumbled in my brain at the moment)
I just started a new Census “operation” and I’m in training this week. This is the fourth Census job I’ve worked on since last year and the training is the same as all of the others – HELL. And by hell I mean boring as hell. I’m not entirely sure if hell is boring, but Census training is definitely a form of slow tedious torture which seems like hell to me. It also doesn’t help that I sit next to an irritating blabbermouth woman who watches me like a hawk and constantly asks the leader, the class, and me stupid questions (such as demanding to know what I’m eating for lunch every day, among other things). By the time I escape for the day my head is about to split apart and all I want to do is go home and sleep for a week or two. But no, then I must race to my evening debt collection call center job for another four hours spent being bored out of my mind with a few interruptions from people swearing at me over the phone. This is not my “dream job” either. My tension headaches have returned and my fingers are starting to swell a bit and become painful because I’m due for my next I.V. infusion. I’m actually getting really worried about this but what can I do? I have no choice. I cannot afford to pay almost $1,000 out-of-pocket for this treatment. I’m currently awaiting another medical assistance charity/foundation to review my application to see if I can get assistance from them for Remicade. They’ve helped me out in the past, for which I’m truly grateful, yet I’m reminded once again how they have a bad tendency of screwing things up. My application is now being held up because they apparently have not yet received the form from my doctor. After several phone calls, I was told my doctor DID fax it to them already. So. Is it lost? Do they not know what they’re doing? Was it faxed to the right number? So frustrating. I have to call there yet again tomorrow to try to sort this out. I’m afraid that it will probably be June before I can have my medication/treatment again. This is stressful and worrying because I do NOT want to have to go back on prednisone in the meantime. I’ve been so happy and relieved that I’ve been able to stay off of it for the last three months.
Anyway, sorry for the bitch-fest but I’m just really fed up with everything now. I’m tired of working multiple jobs that never earn enough to pay the bills. I’m tired of fighting with my insurance company and just medical stuff in general. I’m especially disappointed because I found out tonight that I’m probably not going to be able to get the time off work I requested to get ready for the art show. I hope I don’t have to bow-out of it. I just don’t have time to do the things that I actually care about, and that’s what bothers me the most.
Ok, done whining. I’m going to read now for a bit before bed. Oh! Here’s some GOOD news – I managed to get back on my bike today quick before work and did another 4-mile ride around Palmer Lake. I haven’t been biking for two weeks now (SHAME), so I’m glad I made myself do it despite being exhausted from work. It was so beautiful riding along the trails, too, with everything in bloom.
April 14, 2010
MRI update: I went back to my orthopedic doctor last week to find out the results of the MRI on my right ankle. Once again I was presented with good and bad news. The good (great) news is that my ankle LOOKS fine and there is no damage to the joint or cartilage. This is a huge relief, of course. But then he told me that there is nothing he can do for me based on the results of the MRI. Tears sprang up in my eyes and began to roll down my face despite trying to control myself. How can there be nothing “wrong” when I’m in so much pain? I appreciate that he doesn’t want to do unnecessary surgery, yet I can’t understand how nobody can figure out how to fix my ankle after all of these years (the ankle problems started five years ago). So basically I left the office a crying mess wondering what to do next. Second, third, fourth opinions? Mayo Clinic again? It’s almost too exhausting to even think about much less go through. Back to the beginning, back to “square one.” All I want is to be able to walk normal again, or as normal as possible, with less pain.
In better news, I have rediscovered the joys of riding a bike and have established a goal of biking 3-4 miles a day around a small lake near my house. I went yesterday and Monday and it felt great, despite being a sweaty huffing-puffing wimp by the end of the ride both days. It’s raining right now but I still want to try to go before I work tonight. RAIN WILL NOT STOP ME! Nor will this disease, dammit.
I don’t know what I’m going to do about this ankle, but I’ll have to figure out something. I just can’t believe that there’s nothing that can be done.
April 3, 2010
Once again I can’t believe how long it’s been since I updated this thing. I am truly sorry, if there’s anybody out there missing me (hello? hello?). I’m still alive and unfortunately I still have arthritis and all of the joys and pains that go along with it.
So what’s new? After a seemingly failed synovectomy surgery on my right ankle three years ago, I basically had given up in frustration on the stubborn joint. Just recently I decided to take up the fight again and try to see if there’s anything else/new that can be done to help me. I’m so tired of having to limit myself and being forced to sacrifice little things that I desperately want and enjoy, such as taking a simple WALK, and being able to travel. I can’t stand to be on my feet for very long due to this constantly swollen and painful ankle. I don’t understand why it has been such a mystery and struggle to figure out what’s wrong with it and to fix it. So, I have started the “process” again of doctor appointments, X-rays, fighting with my insurance company, and having to hand over most of my paychecks to pay the bills. I just had another MRI yesterday and will find out the results in time for my doctor appointment Tuesday. I fear that another surgery is on the horizon, but what other choice do I have? I need to get my life back. Soon.
Despite all of this complaining, I do have some wonderful news that I saved for last. I have been PREDNISONE-FREE for almost two months! You have no idea how happy this makes me. Well, maybe you do. I’m extremely thankful for this and I hope it can continue for a long time.
OK, that’s all for now. I’m also very happy to be back writing on this blog. I have some exciting and positive things coming up soon with the Arthritis Foundation, but I’ll save that news for another time.
EOB = Explanation of Benefits = how much money I have to shell out for medical bills
PANF = Patient Access Network Foundation – I just found out that they are currently out of funds for rheumatoid arthritis patients, so now I’m on the waitlist. This is bad since I have an upcoming remicade infusion at the end of the month and have no way to pay for the out-of-pocket portion ($900).