$(*#*fkhd#$mw*$!!!!

September 23, 2014

Apparently everyone in the health care field is incompetent today. About to go punch out someone at Target pharmacy right now.

That’s all.

Opinions

August 18, 2014

Ocracoke Lighthouse

Ocracoke Lighthouse

Hello from beautiful North Carolina! I’ve been here since August 12th, initially for a medical appointment at Duke University Medical Center with an orthopedic foot and ankle specialist/surgeon. The appointment was a huge let-down, to put it mildly. But I’m glad that I decided to extend my stay and make a little holiday of this trip. I’ve been staying on an incredible little island called Ocracoke, which is part of North Carolina’s Outer Banks since last Friday night. I really lucked out in choosing this place, as well as the cute and charming B&B I came across online. I’ve been so impressed with the island, the village, the B&B, the beaches. Everything.

You can read more about my Duke and NC experience in the post I recently wrote for RheumatoidArthritis.net:

“First, Second, 20th Opinions”

Tomorrow is my last full day here and I’m quite sad thinking about it. I’m not ready to go back home! I love the ocean so much and I have to say that island life certainly agrees with me. Alone time is something that I’ve been severely lacking for several months; I didn’t realize how much I needed this vacation.

NOT invisible

April 28, 2014

You know what, I do have some good news to share–I’m not totally consumed with whining and venting about this miserable flare-up that’s going on now (thank God for that, right?).

THE GOOD NEWS: I recently got assigned to write another article for Arthritis Self-Management magazine! The topic is “invisible illnesses.” I’ll be interviewing people who have different kinds of invisible illnesses, not just RA, and how having such a disease affects their lives–and the lives of others around them (family, friends, coworkers, employers, etc.). This “invisible illness” topic is something that’s really important to me not only because it personally affects my life in huge ways, but I know that so many other people are stuck in difficult situations because of it too.

How do you get people to understand what you’re going through when you look “normal” on the outside? How do you avoid being discriminated against because of your illness if you do decide to open up about it with others? How do you find a balance that works? Either people don’t take you and your illness seriously enough, or they judge you because of it. It’s a fine line and I think that many people don’t know how to deal with it–neither the person with the disease nor the caregiver/friend/partner/family member.

For the past 16 years, my default mode has mostly been keeping my mouth shut about my disease while trying to continue pushing forward, and living as normal a life as possible. The danger with this approach is it can lead to intense feelings of isolation and frustration, which I often do feel. I don’t know. Despite living with RA for so many years, I don’t have the answers or feel like I know what I’m doing most of the time. But I’m looking forward to talking with others who also understand what it’s like living with an invisible illness and hearing about their experiences. I’m also excited to be able to spread more awareness about this issue. There is a weird stigma and sense of taboo attached to talking about chronic illnesses, and especially chronic pain. It’s frightening and uncomfortable and awkward, but it’s a real problem. There are too many people out there whose pain and struggles are still invisible.

KEEP ON LIVIN’

April 28, 2014

KEEP ON LIVIN’! KEEP ON LIVIN’! KEEP ON LIVIN’…keeps shouting in my head. Well, I did just finish watching The Punk Singer (2013) again (love it!). This Le Tigre song is a catchy tune, but it’s also not a bad mantra to have looping over and over again in my mind at the moment.

Keep on livin’ –easy, right? No. I’m still going through a bad RA flare-up despite taking 30 mg of prednisone for over two weeks. My right foot and ankle are killing me and not much is helping. I have ice strapped to my foot most hours of the day. I’ve got my ankle wrapped in ace bandages and tape and I’m trying to elevate it wherever I am (which is not easy to do when you’re in public). I also took all last week off from work (and today) to try to rest and stay off my feet, despite feeling guilty for doing that–that I was letting my employer, coworkers and myself down.

Well. What can I do? More phone tag with my doctor’s office and nurse. More medications. More MRI scans. More unanswered questions. Desperation elimination diets. Acupuncture? Meditation? Drinking binge? I have no control. And that’s one of the main things I hate about having RA flare-ups–the disease is in absolute control during these times. I don’t know how long this is going to last and I don’t know how much or little pain is going to come from it. The scariest thing is not knowing if it’s going to go away or if I’ll be stuck with a new permanent disability. I keep trying to tell myself to calm down and not panic and not fall into despair because that won’t help anything. And as cheesy as it might sound for me to say this–I am simply trying to just keep on living right now. Living would be a lot easier, though, if my doctor, or someone, could figure out how to help me get better.

 

Arthritis Walk recap

October 6, 2013

The annual Arthritis Walk, September 14, 2013, Edina, Minnesota

The annual Arthritis Walk, September 14, 2013, Edina, Minnesota

I’m sorry I’m so late posting this! Things have been a bit crazy in my life (see previous posts). The Arthritis Walk a few weekends ago was a great time and the weather was perfect and beautiful for it. Lots of people came out to participate in the walk and to support arthritis funding for research and to help those who suffer from the disease. It’s always inspiring and motivating to be involved in these types of events because you’re surrounded by positive, energetic people who are all passionate about arthritis issues. Many of the people involved also have some form of arthritis themselves, so it’s nice to be able to talk to people who can understand what you go through living with the disease. All-in-all, a fantastic event! Lots of money was raised, people got outdoors and came together to exercise and cheer each other on. As always, it was fun for me to walk around snapping photos of the walkers and other stuff going on at the walk. And, even though I decided at the very last minute to register as a fundraiser myself for the walk, I managed to raise over $200. Awesome! Thank you to everyone who donated and supported the walk — I really appreciate it.

If you wanted to donate to the walk and didn’t have time, you can still do it! You can make a donation on my page or you can donate on the main Arthritis Walk page too, I think.

Here’s my fundraising page again if you want to contribute something: http://awtwincities.kintera.org/angelalundberg

And here’s the link to the photos I took at the walk on the (Upper Midwest Region) Arthritis Foundation’s Flickr page:

ARTHRITIS WALK 2013 PHOTOS

Hope you like them!

Angela

RheumatoidArthritis.net

August 28, 2013

A new RA website is officially launching TODAY – RheumatoidArthritis.net

It’s a cool site, full of information about rheumatoid arthritis for patients, families, spouses — everyone really! A great part of this site is there is a community of bloggers sharing their personal stories of living with RA. And the exciting thing is, I’m going to be one of their featured regular bloggers! So now in addition to blathering on about medical appointments and swollen joints on this blog, you can read my posts over at rheumatoidarthritis.net too. Whoo! Actually those will probably be a little more organized structurally. And maybe more well-thought-out. Although I do try to not sound like a blubbering idiot on here, too, I swear. Ha ha. In any case, I hope you like the new site and my blog posts.

So check it out! It’s a neat site and I think it will be a helpful resource and source of communication and community for people affected by RA.

Weigh-in

July 10, 2013

UPDATE 7/12:

Well. The good news is I didn’t gain any weight. The bad news is that I didn’t really lose anything either. Ok, I lost 15 oz. Big whoop. I was really disappointed after my appointment Wednesday; I thought for sure the work I’ve been putting into losing weight was going to show some results. A pound at least. Nope. I want to give up and just stuff my face with a million pasta/cheese/bread/chocolate calories. But I’m not going to give up. Part of this makes me so pissed off to try even harder. But I don’t know — it’s not easy. I’m also very disappointed and angry that I can’t ride my bike right now because both knees are flaring up. This happened two years ago when I was biking a lot and it turned out to be a biking “injury” and not from my RA. I think I was pushing myself too hard this time and overdid it. But for now I need to rest my knees and hope they return to their normal, pain-free state soon. Even if RA didn’t cause this particular pain/flare-up, it’s not helping my knees to heal. So yeah, I’m upset. This really makes me want to scream and punch stuff. Ah, that probably won’t help though. I’m going up north tomorrow morning for the weekend for an annual family event, which I’m looking forward to a lot. Hopefully it will be a nice little getaway and will make me feel better.

__________

I have my Remicade infusion tomorrow (well technically today, since it’s 12:43 AM), and in addition to the much-needed medication, I’ll find out if I’ve lost any weight. The last time I got weighed was almost a month ago, I think. I’ve been trying very hard to exercise and eat less. However, I’m afraid that once I step on the scale tomorrow afternoon it will show that I haven’t lost a thing. I swear my metabolism is broken/comatose. I’ve also recently lowered my Celexa dose and I’ve been getting acupuncture treatments for weight loss along with all of my other health problems. Hopefully something will start to work. I would be ecstatic if I could lose even just five more pounds. I’ve managed to keep the 10 lbs off that I lost last spring/summer, which is great. But, I haven’t been able to lose any more weight since then, which is really frustrating. What do I have to do, starve myself? I don’t think that’s a smart or realistic option. Please cross your fingers that tomorrow’s appointment brings some good news!

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